New In Town - Tales of the Parodyverse

    “Wahoo!” shouted Trickshot as he piloted his Flying Ass through the skies of Parodiopolis. He wove through the skyscrapers, darting to avoid the various fire escapes and flagpoles. “I so needed this!”

    “I so did not!” shrieked Al B. Harper from the rear seat. He was clutching the arrogant archer about the waist for dear life. “I told you this was supposed to be a test run!”

    “I’m just simulatin’ combat conditions Doc!” Trickshot assured his passenger. “You say this rig’s ready t’fly, I got faith in ya.”

    It was then the engine stalled out.

    “Have I mentioned I haven’t gotten much sleep lately?” asked Al as the craft began to plummet.

    “Any ideas genius?” Trickshot hollered at the arch scientist as he futilely kicked the side of the Ass.

    “Did I ever get around to making you a new Shoggoth arrow?” asked Al hopefully.

    “Number 117 on your list I think,” replied Trickshot helpfully. He thought about firing a swing-line for the duo to save themselves with, but that still didn’t help the innocent people below.

    “Damn. Alright, move over,” Al said. Al and Trickshot maneuvered awkwardly until they had switched positions on the bike.

    “What now?” shouted Trickshot. The people below had looked up and begun to panic at the site of the falling aircraft.

    “This,” said Al as he enacted his solution to the problem.

    He kicked it.

    With a roar the engine started up again, and Al quickly pulled up, setting the Flying Ass down on a nearby rooftop.

    “How come that didn’t work when I did it?” asked a confused Trickshot.

    “Unlike you, I know where to kick,” said the smug scientist. “How about I drive on the way home?”

    “Aw c’mon Doc, don’t you wanna patrol some more? It really recharges the ol’ batteries, and let me tell you, mama Bastion’s little boy was feelin’ pretty drained. A break from your lab will do you good,” he assured his companion.

    “Or a reprieve from my lab will break me,” Al sighed. “All right, a little longer, but I’m driving.”

    Trickshot slapped Al B on the back. “Thatta boy Doc!”

    The pair mounted the Flying Ass and Al coaxed it back into the air. The city was dark, as the towers of the downtown area had nobody working in them, and as such the lights were all off per the Legion’s orders.

    Thus even Trickshot’s keen eye almost missed the smashing of a window on the ground below.

    “Take us down Doc!” Trickshot yelled to the pilot. “Look’s like I’m gonna get a work-out after all!”

    Before Al had reached the ground Trickshot was vaulting off the back, bow at the ready. With his passenger departed, Al swung around to park the Ass at minimum safe distance.

    Trickshot entered the bank with an arrow at the ready. He could see his quarry’s silhouette in the darkness. “Awright pal, let’s see ‘em!” he commanded. “Nice and slow now.”

    Trickshot’s request was met with silence. “I’m not gonna tell ya-whoa!” cried out Trickshot as he hit the dirt. The desk barely missed his head as it flew out into the street.

    “That’s it!” shouted Trickshot as he loosed a magnesium flare arrow into the ceiling. The shaft stuck in the roof and illuminated the room. Trickshot got a look at this opponent.

    He was big.

    He wore brown overalls with a blue t-shirt underneath, a yellow bola tie around his neck. A brown mask covered his face with a pattern on it resembling rivets, though Trickshot had trouble making it out with the hat obscuring his face. The arrogant archer couldn’t be sure but it looked like his skin was grey.

    “Walk away if you want to live,” his adversary said. He picked up another desk. “I mean it.”

    Trickshot responded with a blast arrow that obliterated the office furniture in the villain’s hand. “Put yer hands over your head and surrender if you don’t want the biggest spankin’ of yer life, pal.”

    “I don’t think so.” The big man rushed him, tearing up the ground as he ran. Trickshot rolled nimbly to the side and fired a normal shaft at the man’s shoulder.
    It bounced off.

    Trickshot’s enemy kept on running, smashing through the outer wall. “Ha!” called Trickshot after him. “Yer not so tough! Oh.”

    Trickshot had noticed the plummeting ceiling.

    Outside, Al B Harper had run to the bank only to meet up with Trickshot’s attempted murderer. “Er, hi there,” said Al as he backed up a pace.

    “Move or die,” commanded the big man.

    “I think not,” said Al as he pulled a gizmo from his pocket. “And thinking is what I do.” Al twisted a dial on the device and aimed it at the behemoth.

    He twitched and struggled forward, Al’s invention slowing him considerably. “You can’t stop the Harvester!” he grunted as he surged slowly forward.

    “You’re probably right. But this directional EMP broadcaster I’ve been tinkering with to shut down Parody Master portals just might.”

    Harvester grunted, and to Al’s surprise nozzles opened up on the end of his fingertips. A green chemical sprayed forward, and Al had to move quickly to avoid it. Unfortunately, his EMP broadcaster was hit, and it quickly shorted out.

    Sirens could be heard approaching their position, and the Harvester was still weakened from the EMP. “Another time,” promised the villain. Blades sprung forth from his forearms and he began to swing his arms rapidly. He quickly burrowed a hole in the ground and disappeared into the sewers. Without back-up or his EMP broadcaster the arch scientist was reluctant to follow.

    Instead he turned his attention to digging out Trickshot. With the help of the officers who arrived a few minutes too late they managed to extricate the arrogant archer from the bank.

    Al and a uniformed officer helped Trickshot to a seat on the sidewalk. “You let him get away!” protested Trickshot when Al informed him of the Harvester’s escape.

    “You let him bury you alive,” Al retorted defensively.

    “ Just wanted him ta be overconfident is all,” confided Trickshot. “So you figured he’s a robot too?”

    “How did you know? “ asked Al, surprised. “If I hadn’t spent so much time developing Yuki’s motor functions I doubt I would have noticed.”

    “Arrow’s ricochet different based on what they hit,” explained Trickshot. “Metal gives it a different bounce than if I were to hit, say, Donar or Clancy. I doubt you’d be able to tell, but I can.”

    ‘Or he could have been wearing a suit of armor,” pointed out Al.

    Trickshot looked at the Legion’s science advisor for a few moments. “Shut up.”
    Al examined the tunnel the Harvester had left behind. “This guy is tough. I think we might need back-up before tackling him again.”

    Trickshot was about to launch into a speech about how he never needed back-up when their Communicards went off. “Looks like he’ll have to wait,” said Al. After a quick conversation with CrazySugarFreakBoy! he turned to the arrogant archer. “CSFB! needs us to check out a possible Avawarrior incursion by Shyminsky Falls.”

    Trickshot bounded over to the Flying Ass. “I’ll drive!”

    Al made a mental note to have a conversation with Hatman about just how comprehensive the Lair Legion medical package actually was.

The Beginning…


~Hat~

Post By Hatman will read and reply to all the new stuff tomorrow Fri Oct 13, 2006 at 12:23:25 am EDT	Subject New In Town

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